


AI Stands for Automatic Idiot

by Cloevoyant



Series: Fake AH Crew Headcanons [1]
Category: FAHC - Fandom, Fake AH crew - Fandom, Rooster Teeth/Achievement Hunter RPF
Genre: Android AU, Gen, Headcanon, fakecommunitychallenge
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-08
Updated: 2018-06-14
Packaged: 2019-05-19 19:20:33
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,585
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14879684
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cloevoyant/pseuds/Cloevoyant
Summary: This, honestly, is just a teaser, because as soon as Bits posted that prompt, I had a whole scenario in my head and had to get it down, so here it is! This is obviously not the entire thing, there's going to be a *lot* more added for my submission to the community challenge (which you will find on team-fahc on tumblr when all is said and done) but I wanted to tease y'all with this, so I'm going to! EDIT: So I finished it. And I'm just editing this version because I don't wanna add another one. So enjoy my fake community challenge submission!





	1. Tease It

        It was still jarring to them, how lifelike he was.   
        Sure, they'd had him for almost a year by then, but touching him and feeling skin, looking at him and seeing a human, listening to him talk and not hearing anything that would give away just _what_  he was? They weren't sure any of them could ever get used to it.  
        Not even when they noticed he'd begun changing.  
  
  


* * *

  
        At first, it was a normal heist. Everything was going smoothly, and the crew were almost free of the cops' pursuit. Michael was put in charge of keeping Gavin safe this time, so the firefly and the android were sitting in the car, Jeremy and Ray in the back seat watching out the rear windshield, taking turns leaning out the back window to shoot out the tires of the gaining cop cars.   
        Making a split second decision, Michael turned and drove off the side of an overpass, an opening in the guard rails proving to be  _just_  wide enough for their car to fit through. He heard three screams in the car join his own, though his was more of a yell of triumph, louder when all four wheels hit the ground, and the car accelerated with a squeal down the highway.   
        Breathing heavy with his foot pressing the gas pedal to the floor of the car, Michael's grin spread from ear to ear, proud of himself for keeping him and his crew safe while still managing to do something cool. He held out his hand, closed in a fist, and immediately Ray and Jeremy knew what to do. He felt both of them bump their own hands against his, Ray's with open fingers cause the sniper knew it'd make it awkward, and Jeremy's closed fist, knuckles bumping against Michael's in a classic fist bump.   
        Before Michael could pull his fist away, he felt a third touch; more knuckles against his own. Sucking in a breath, he glanced over at Gavin, the android's eyes locked on the redhead's face, as if to read his reaction.   
        Michael just smiled again and turned back towards the road, getting off the highway and finding a place to hide before making his way to the safe house they were told to meet the Gents.


	2. The ACTUAL Fic

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is my submission that you'll find on tumblr @ team-fahc! Thanks for reading!

        It was still jarring to them, how lifelike he was.   
        Sure, they'd had him for almost a year by then, but touching him and feeling skin, looking at him and seeing a human, listening to him talk and not hearing anything that would give away just _what_  he was? They weren't sure any of them could ever get used to it.  
        Not even when they noticed he'd begun changing.  
  
  


* * *

  
        It was natural for androids to ask questions, Geoff knew. If it wasn't in their data base, they'd find out what information they could on it and put it there. It was a nice perk, having a walking computer that knew next to everything. Needed to pass a drug test? Ask the android, and he could tell you what to eat and drink to make sure you urine didn't have enough drug trace in it to proc on a test. Wanted some quick calculations done? Just show them to the bot, he'd have it done in less than a second. They were beginning to take him for granted, he just made things so much easier around the base.  
        When the blond bot came into Geoff's office one night after they finished counting their shares from the most recent heist, Geoff felt his back stiffen. The android rarely ever sought anyone out like this, not even to relay information he'd been told to gather; he usually kept it to himself until asked, or printed it out and put it where Geoff or whoever had asked him for the information could find it. So if the AI had come to him, there must be a hiccup in the information gathering, right?  
        "Geoff?" The British voice they'd chosen for the AI to have because they thought it'd be funny had a slight uncertainty to it.  
        "Yes, Gavin?"  
        "What's it like?"  
        "What's what like?"  
        "Being human."  
        Geoff felt his mouth go dry, unsure of how to react, let alone answer. He wasn't one of those doomsday guys, worried about technology taking over; if it happened, it happened, there was nothing he could do to change that. But something about an Artificial Intelligence Android actively asking him what it was like to be a human being really unsettled him.  
        "I understand if the question makes you uncomfortable, Geoff; I am, after all, just an android. But I'd greatly appreciate if you could sum it up in some way, as I myself can never experience it."  
        Geoff barely suppressed a shiver, having never really thought about it; what exactly made him a human? Biology, or something else? Was it the way he was made, or was it his thoughts? He finally looked at Gavin, settling on answer.  
        "Gavin, buddy, I'm gonna have to be honest with you; I have no idea. I couldn't even tell you what even makes my humanity-"  
        "Well, you're a _homo sapien_ , which means you're-"  
        "No, Gavin, I understand that much. What I assume you meant is what it's like having relationships, among other things that create the.... Human experience, I suppose." If androids could blush, he was sure the one in front of him would be turning red at that very moment. "So I have to tell you the truth; I honestly have no idea how to describe it to you. It's..... It's just something you have to experience yourself, I guess. I can tell you one thing though, Gavin; humans are some resilient motherfuckers. They'll bounce back from anything, if you let them."  
        Slowly, the android nodded, before he smiled at Geoff.   
        "Thanks, Geoff. That's actually a satisfactory answer."  
  
  


* * *

  
                At first, it was a normal heist. Everything was going smoothly, and the crew were almost free of the cops' pursuit. Michael was put in charge of keeping Gavin safe this time, so the firefly and the android were sitting in the front of thecar, Jeremy and Ray in the back seat watching out the rear windshield. They were taking turns leaning out the back window to shoot out the tires of the gaining cop cars, the police activity seeming higher than usual for the level of heist and amount of prep they had already known Gavin put into it.  
        Making a split second decision, Michael turned and drove off the side of an overpass, an opening in the guard rails proving to be  _just_  wide enough for their car to fit through. He heard three screams in the car join his own, though his was more of a yell of triumph, louder when all four wheels hit the ground, and the car accelerated with a squeal down the highway.   
        Breathing heavy with his foot pressing the gas pedal to the floor of the car, Michael's grin spread from ear to ear, proud of himself for keeping him and his crew safe while still managing to do something cool. He held out his hand, closed in a fist, and immediately Ray and Jeremy knew what to do. He felt both of them bump their own hands against his, Ray's with open fingers cause the sniper knew it'd make it awkward, and Jeremy's closed fist, knuckles bumping against Michael's in a classic fist bump.   
        Before Michael could pull his fist away, he felt a third touch; more knuckles against his own. Sucking in a breath, he glanced over at Gavin, the android's eyes locked on the redhead's face, as if to read his reaction.   
        Michael just smiled again and turned back towards the road, getting off the highway and finding a place to hide before making his way to the safe house they were told to meet the Gents.  
  
  


* * *

  
        Ray glanced back at the crew, all of them standing in the garage as he put his one suit case and one gun case in the back of Michael's car, the redheaded lad having offered to drive him to his new place. His heart hurt, but he knew this was for the best; he couldn't stay with the crew anymore, not with the way his life was going in comparison to the direction the crew wanted to go. He was glad Geoff understood, the mustachioed gent being the very person to suggest to Ray that he should move on. Not maliciously, of course; Ray knew Geoff had only suggested it because he was worried about the mental state the lad was beginning to sink into.  
        Ryan still had a little face paint that outlined his cheeks, making his face seem thinner than it actually was. It somehow made him look even more melancholic, the gent's blue eyes already sad at the loss of the other R. If it weren't for the fact that his hair was pulled back into a tight ponytail, Ryan would've been pretty comparable to a lost puppy.  
        Jack only smiled faintly, wanting to be encouraging to the young lad as he left, rather than show her sorrow. She still had an arm crossed in front of her, her hand resting on her bicep of the arm that was still on her side, as if to give herself a half hug in comfort. Ray wasn't a touchy guy, but he had actually given her a hug before they'd come outside.  
        Jeremy was the only one that seemed more angry than sad, and Ray felt a little bad; the conversation the two had the night before still weighed heavily on his mind, and he knew the shorter lad was under a lot of pressure now that Ray was leaving. As if in retaliation, Jeremy strode purposefully over to Ray and threw his arms around him, causing the Puerto Rican to awkwardly pat the other lad's back. The shorter lad locked eyes with Ray as he backed up, and the look was a mixture of a glare and a threat. Immediately, Ray knew what Jeremy wanted to convey; "You'd better fuckin take care of yourself, I don't want to have to save your ass down the road." Ray just smiled gently at him to show he got the message.  
        Michael just grunted in acknowledgement, patting Ray's shoulder before walking around the car to open the driver's side door. The firefly hadn't so much as spoken to him when Ray announced to the entire crew he was leaving, and Ray knew why the redhead had offered to drive him; Michael wanted to chew him out on the ride to his new place. Ray didn't complain, or offer a taxi, because he knew it would be better for Michael to let it out that way rather than stew in it at the penthouse.  
        What he didn't expect? Gavin, standing on the other side of Ryan, a look of.... Regret? On his face. Ray had asked the android to find him an open apartment somewhere on the other side of Los Santos, and Gavin hadn't even asked why; he just did it. That was what Ray liked about him. But now, the AI was _walking toward him_  and Ray's eyes widened when he realized Gavin was about to speak to him.  
        "If I had known this is what you wanted the apartment for, I would have asked if something was bothering you."  
        "No, Gav, it's alright-"  
        "Is there any particular reason you're-" Ray spluttered to try and cut him off, not wanting to explain himself to a  _robot._  
        "G-...Vav please, I'm- I'm fine, seriously- J-just take care of the rest of the crew for me, okay?"  
        The android seemed to stop for a second, green eyes locked on Ray's brown ones for what felt like eternity, but Ray unable to look away, until the android gave a single nod.  
        "I can do that, X-Ray." Gavin smiled at him, as if  _proud_  of himself for using a  _nickname._ "Please, take care of yourself, too."  
        Ray only nodded at him before turning and getting into the car, Michael having already gotten in and buckled his seat belt. What- Did he just make an  _emotional_  deal with an  _android_?  
  
  


* * *

  
        "I can't let you do that, Michael."  
        Michael could literally feel his eyelid twitching with the rage he was suppressing. All he wanted to do was show the bastard who he thought he was messing with by leaving some sticky bombs for him on his car-  
        "Did you hear me, boi?"  
        The firefly jumped at the use of the nickname, the way the British voice stressed the word 'boi' nearly making him smile.   
        "Yes, I heard you Gav." It had become sort of a habit, calling the android by a nickname now. Sure, they had their code name for him when they were out on a heist; Golden Boy, because he was expensive and flashy. But the nicknames they used for him when they weren't out? Those were personal. Affectionate, almost.   
        "Okay, but that clearly doesn't mean you  _heard_  me." The tone in which the droid spoke made Michael finally look at him, a glare on his face ready. It stopped almost immediately when he saw a look of concern on the bot's face.  
        "Why are you-"  
        "I don't want you running in and making a fool of yourself. The rest of the crew will handle this. The important things are that Ray is safe in another location and no one got injured. You need to keep the second part true."  
        Michael opened his mouth to reply, but was startled by a knock on the window of his car. Ryan.  
        "Christ, a little warning next time, yeah?" Michael greeted him as he rolled the window down some so they could talk.  
        "You've got Gavin, right?"  
        "Yeah, why?"  
        "Get out of here. Now."  
        "Wh-"  
        "Just go. Get him somewhere safe, now." Ryan looked almost angry as he glanced back over his shoulder, and Michael leaned a little to look around him. His jaw dropped when he saw the guy, bloody and fighting against Jeremy's grip.  
        "You gotta-"  
        "No, I don't  _gotta_. You _gotta_  get Gavin out of here, and don't go to my safe house for a while, got it?" Ryan lowered his voice before continuing. "Geoff will tell you why it has to be this way when we get this asshole back to the room."  
        Sighing, Michael just nodded before rolling his window back up and punching the gas, rocketing forward on the pavement to try and let out his pent up aggression that way. He barely noticed Gavin react as he drove the car, taking any and every turn he can without caring if he gets lost, his foot never letting up on the gas as he went. His hand was on the gear shift, ready to shift the car's gears again when he felt a hand on top of his own.  
        "Michael, I think it'd be best if we slowed down," Gavin said when the firefly glanced over at him. Rather than argue, Michael just let up on the gas and began to drive at a normal pace. Once they settled, he grabbed his phone and checked his messages, remembering what Ryan said about Geoff texting him the explanation. Sure enough, his phone showed a new text message.   
        Only two words were under Geoff's name on his lock screen; "He's learning."  
        Michael squinted a little at his phone before his eyes widened and he glanced at Gavin, who's eyes were locked on the firefly's face. Unlocking his phone, Michael one-handed types out his response; "Learning what, exactly?"  
        "Everything." A few moments passed before another message popped up under it. "Mostly things about being human. And we don't want him gaining the knowledge of torture. Keep driving until I give you the all clear."  
        Michael's only response to that was to just put his phone down, unsure of how to  _actually_  respond. As he drove, he couldn't help but cast glances repeatedly over to Gavin, wondering what exactly the bot was learning.  
  
  


* * *

  
        "You guys need to get out of here!"   
        Gavin was doing his best to keep doors open for them from his station at the security office in the building they were currently raiding, but it was getting increasingly difficult as time went on. The crew was split into 3 teams; Jack and Geoff were putting files into their briefcases, information they would later sell to the highest bidder, and Michael and Jeremy were shoving money into dufflebags from the safes they would open. Ryan stood at the security office door, keeping guard over Gavin as the android worked on staying within the entire building's security mainframe.   
        "Guys, seriously, whoever is trying to impede my progress is actually-" Gavin cut himself off as he focused on winning another programming fight with the security system. Exasperated, the android threw his hands up in the air after the skirmish was over. "Just bloody get out of there!"   
        "What's got you so worked up?" Gavin jumped when Ryan's voice was in his ear; he must not have heard him cross the room while he was shouting. That was something he would have to work on, Gavin decided.   
        "Someone's giving me some major trouble for keeping the electric doors opened for our boys, and each fight is harder and harder for me to win."  
        "You can't run some other program to find where that person is while you keep the doors open?"  
        "Believe me, Ryan, I've tried. At this point, it'd be faster to just blow-"  
        As if on cue, there was an explosion somewhere above their heads. Ryan's eyes snapped toward the ceiling while Gavin's fingers flew over the keyboard at the same time he flipped through his internal monitoring channels. Thankfully, each member of the crew's heart was still beating, and it put Gavin at ease, even if only slightly. Opening up the comms channel, Gavin spoke the same words again to them.  
        "You guys need to get out of here!" He heard some disagreements, but rather than pay them any mind, he pressed on. "I can only keep the doors open for you guys for so long. Get out, and I'll meet you all outside once I'm done. Doors won't mean much soon, anyway, what with the building bloody  _burning down around us."_  
        Although reluctantly, the crew agreed. Breathing a sigh of relief, Gavin turned his head slightly to glance at Ryan, who was still behind him. The mercenary's painted face didn't betray any emotion besides determination.  
        "I'm not-"  
        "You have absolutely no reason to try and stay here, Vagabond." The use of his code name was something Gavin was still programmed to do in these situations. "So just leave. You know I can survive this, I'm not a human. Now go."  
        Ryan stared at him for what seemed like ages before nodding slightly and silently exiting the security office. Gavin actually slumped in his chair when he saw the entirety of the Fake AH Crew had exited the building. Finally, his job was done. He wiped the computer and stood up from the chair, making his way for the door, when there was another explosion. This one came from the very computer Gavin had been sitting at.  
  
  


* * *

  
        Ryan was barely regrouped with his crew when he heard the second explosion. He and the rest of the crew looked up at the burning building, and he was certain that everyone's eyes were looking for movement; watching, waiting for that one figure to appear from the flames and greet them all with a cheeky smile and analytical green eyes.   
        Minutes passed into hours. The crew moved to remain hidden, but kept the burning building in their sites. Police and fire fighters worked to secure the area and put out the fire. No bodies were pulled from the wreckage, but Ryan realized grimly that Gavin wouldn't be a  _body_. He'd just blend in with whatever technical debris that had been there.   
        Hours turned into days as the crew went back to the penthouse. Ryan slowly got angrier at himself as time went on, unable to believe he'd just.... _left_  him there. His anger was creating tension in the group; they blamed him, but they didn't say anything to him, he could tell. After all, it was  _his_  fault that Gavin was lost.   
        Days transitioned into weeks, and slowly the crew lost hope of ever seeing their British android again. Ryan hardly spent much time at the penthouse, instead choosing to spend his time trying to run away from his guilt. Geoff only knew the mercenary was alive sometimes because of the random reports on the news of someone related to the heist that'd gone south would turn up dead, usually in a horrific state of very clearly having been tortured.  
        During one of his brief resting periods, when Geoff managed to corner him long enough to talk to him, there came a knock on the door that made everyone freeze. Jeremy, who had been the closest to the door, drew his pistol and went and opened the door. At first he peaked slowly, his gun at the ready as he looked, but he quickly dropped the gun and threw open the door, mouth dropping open in shock at what he saw.  
        "I believe I was told that humans were resilient motherfuckers, and that they'd bounce back from anything if you let them. Is that right, Geoff?"


End file.
